March 1, 2024

The "Death Talk" Nobody Wants to Have: Tools for Starting the Conversation

Let's face it, talking about death isn't exactly a recipe for a lively brunch conversation.  We get it.  Images of uncomfortable silences and tearful goodbyes might flash in your mind.  But here's the thing: avoiding this conversation can create far bigger problems down the line.

Think about it: wouldn't you rather your loved ones know your wishes for healthcare, end-of-life care, and even your prized stamp collection?  Open communication around death, while admittedly not lighthearted, is actually a gift – a gift of clarity, peace of mind, and maybe even a head start on avoiding family feuds over your favorite teapot.


So, how do we approach this seemingly daunting conversation? Here are some tools to equip you for a smoother (and maybe even slightly less awkward) "death talk":


  • Find the Right Time and Place: Don't ambush your loved ones during Thanksgiving dinner. Choose a calm and neutral environment, maybe over coffee or during a relaxed weekend activity.


  • Frame it as a Conversation, Not a Monologue: This isn't about dictating your wishes. It's about a two-way exchange.  Listen to their thoughts and fears too.


  • Start Small: You don't have to dive headfirst into complex medical directives. Begin with lighter topics like funeral preferences or who should inherit your prized recipe collection.


  • Use Current Events or Movies as a Springboard: Did a celebrity's passing spark a conversation about end-of-life care? Use that as a springboard to share your own thoughts in a natural way.


  • Humor Can Help (a Little): A lighthearted joke can break the tension. But remember, this isn't a stand-up routine.  Respect the seriousness of the topic.


  • Tools are Your Friends: There are excellent resources available online and in libraries. Explore websites like the Conversation Project or the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization for conversation starters and helpful guides.


Remember: This can be an ongoing conversation, not a one-time event. As your life changes, so might your wishes.


Bonus Tip:  Consider creating an "End-of-Life Wishes" document (with your lawyer's guidance if needed). This can be a central location for your preferences,  minimizing confusion later.


Talking about death might not be high on anyone's list of favorite activities, but a little planning and open communication go a long way. So, take a deep breath, equip yourself with these tools, and  start that conversation. Your future self (and your loved ones) will thank you for it.


A group of people are hugging each other in a park.

Wills vs.Trusts: Finally Explained (Without the Legalese Headache)

February 23, 2024
Imagine your family scrambling to figure out what happens to your most treasured belongings after you're gone. No one knows who gets your grandmother's antique jewelry, or worse, who ends up caring for your beloved dog. Sadly, this happens all too often when people don't have a plan. Estate planning doesn't have to be scary. Let's ditch the complicated legal terms and break down the basics of wills and trusts. Wills: Your Essential Instructions What's it do? A will is your playbook for what happens to your stuff after you pass away. It includes things like: Who gets your assets (your house, car, investments, etc.) Who cares for your minor children (a guardian) Who will be in charge of making sure your wishes are carried out (an executor) When do you need one? Right now! If you own anything at all, a will is crucial. Don't think it's only for the elderly or wealthy – it's about protecting what matters to you. Trusts: The Power of Control What's the big deal? A trust is like a special container holding your assets. You set the rules for how it's managed, both during your life and after. There are many types, but let's focus on the most common: a revocable living trust. Revocable Living Trust: Picture it as your own personal asset box. You put stuff in, take stuff out, and remain the boss while you're alive. The coolest part? When you pass away, a trustee you've chosen distributes everything to your loved ones without the hassle of probate court. Benefits of trusts: Avoids probate (a lengthy and sometimes expensive court process) Can protect assets from creditors Might offer tax benefits for larger estates Provides income for loved ones long-term if needed Sometimes, a simple will is all you need. Other times, a trust provides greater control and flexibility. A trust might be especially beneficial if: You have complex assets to manage (multiple properties, a business, etc.) You want to avoid the time and expense of probate court. You wish to minimize estate taxes on a larger estate. You want to provide ongoing support for a loved one with special needs. You want to protect your assets from potential creditors. The Bottom Line Don't let legal terms trip you up. Estate planning is about peace of mind – for you and the people you love. Taking action, even with a basic will, is always better than doing nothing.